


Delicate like a Flower

by WorkingOnIt135



Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Childhood Trauma, Eventual Romance, F/M, Homophobia, Kidnapped OC, Past Rape/Non-con
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:07:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24993595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WorkingOnIt135/pseuds/WorkingOnIt135
Summary: Taken from a young age, Muriel Woods had known Hell long before the dead began to rise. Taken to the Prison with the man who had 'Saved' her, the girl runs into a piece of her past. Beth Green, her childhood friend. Can she and Carl shake Muriel from the trauma and help her? To see the reality of her life and confront her abuser?Or will the teen continue to hide away all of the bad thoughts and memories that haunt her?*Summaries aren't my thing. I wrote this whole thing as one giant story with no intention of posting. It took a lot to post this instead of deleting it, as I do with most of my stories.*
Relationships: Carl Grimes/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 6





	1. Chapter 1

_Muriel played with her fingers as she sat awkwardly in the back seat of the station wagon, “My girl and I just need somewhere safe; with a group. We’ll contribute however we can.” Her captor begged the group leader. While every part of her screamed to warn them; tell them that he was an awful man that would betray them and leave; she stayed quiet. No need to get them killed. If she played along, it would be easier and quicker for everyone. She dared a glance out of the window and swallowed hard. It was a bigger group than last time with a few tougher looking men. The leader had his arms crossed, an intimidation technique that Thomas used a lot on her. It made her throat feel dry and she questioned once more if she should do something. Maybe do the right thing and she’ll get away from her captor? What if they sent both of them away after she tells them everything? Thomas had said she was his and that even the police couldn’t take her away. She didn’t quite understand it, but if the police couldn’t help her; then no one could. That’s the way the law worked. The leader looked at her through the window, catching her eye and seeming to soften up just a hair, “Yeah, go ahead and park over there and we’ll get you set up.” He gave in from looking at her; which was exactly what Thomas was betting on._  
**_Everyone had a soft spot for kids._**  
Her hair was pulled into a messy ponytail, longer than she preferred in the sweltering summer heat. She had lost track of where they were or how long they had been traveling and they seemed to be lost. “Hurry up, kid.” Thomas called back to her as they traveled the road to where seemed nice enough. She huffed, hiking up the packs she was carrying and trying to catch up. She carried the useless things; sleeping bags and clothes mainly. While his light pack had all of the food and water. Long use to the unfair way of life that she was forced with, the young teen just did her best to stay on his good side. The idea of actually eating had her doing whatever he wanted. She’s his. It’s the mantra that was carved into her mind at a young age, one she believed wholeheartedly after nearly a decade of being with the man. The girl focused on her feet, feeling her legs tire down after speeding up. Having the heavier things would have made her sweat if she were hydrated at all, to begin with. It seemed that every ounce of water in her body had already drained from her that morning after they had to run from a horde that seemed to have materialized out of nowhere. The truth was, she was supposed to be on watch, and she dozed off. It wasn’t uncommon because she was always on watch and she always had to carry the heavy useless things. Muriel remembered trying to fight it, trying to argue or throw a fit when she was younger; but the scars embedded the lessons she learned deeper than his words ever could.   
The girl was so focused on walking; she nearly missed the truck pulling up next to them.   
“You guys heading anywhere?” A man spoke as the pair stopped walking. Thomas held tight to his gun, but she could hear that fake smile he always seemed to have on around strangers; “My girl and I are just trying to find a place to take our boots off, friend.” He seemed to cut to the chase and Muriel glanced up to check out why. The first sign was that the man was clean. He had clean clothes and was well-groomed. The second was that his truck appeared to be mostly empty. No bags of belongings or trash from old food cans. Just a small pack by his side with his crossbow. She could see fur peeking over the back of the truck bed and wondered what he had caught. “How many walkers have you killed?” It was a strange question. Looking up, she saw Thomas cock an eyebrow, “Quiet a few by now.” The man seemed to accept his answer, “And you?” This time, it was directed at her and she shrugged the best she could with all of the weight she had on her. Thomas bumped his hip into hers, “Muriel here is my priority, I don’t let her near them too much unless I know she can handle it.” She looked up at him and gave a crooked smile; playing her role. The man seemed to accept the answer as he asked another, “How many people have you killed?” It was an even odder question than the first. A question that swept them up in silence and Muriel tried not to think about it too long. Thomas put a hand on her head, “I’ve killed two; I had to protect my girl.” He explained, quickly saying a lie and a truth in one breath. The number was a lot higher, but she knew which two men he was talking about specifically. “Muriel had to kill two as well, trying to escape a bad situation.” It made her cringe how he had phrased it. ‘A bad situation’ was how he described her life before he got a hold of her. She didn’t remember much, it was so long ago, but she remembered having two loving fathers that tucked her into bed every night. There was the ghost of a memory of blood and crying and Thomas telling her it had to be done because God said so and she didn’t want to go to Hell. That was when he was a strong believer before the world ended. There was a fire behind her eyes, but she tried to ignore it as the man sighed sympathetically, “Hop in; we got a bit of way to go before reaching the prison.” As Thomas nudged her to move, she found a clear spot in the bed of the truck to put the luggage. The relief that came with lightening the load on her was visible as she sighed and rubbed her shoulder before following him to the passenger side of the truck. Thomas made a point in getting in first, a divider between herself and the stranger. On the drive; the man, Daryl; explained what kind of community the prison was. How it had a decent amount of people and that everyone got equal treatment and their own jobs. The idea of being around kids her age, as the man explained they had classes and storytime, almost made her excited. It was their first time coming across a functioning community. Usually, it was small groups that were easy to rip off and run from. Muriel thought that they might have chewed off more than they could chew for this one. As if he knew what she was thinking, Thomas patted her leg, “Don’t worry so much, I’m sure it’ll be just fine.” A way to assure her, yet it left her feeling frustrated.


	2. Chapter 2

As night began to fall, the girl finally caught sight of the prison. True to his words; it was a small community. There was someone who operated the gate and she could make out a flash in the guard tower. People gathered around as he pulled to a stop. A woman with gray hair eyed the pair, “Newbies, welcome.” As if it was the most normal thing in the world for strangers to show up. With a nod, as to not seem rude when she was being spoken to _‘Rude ladies are ugly ladies’_. The lesson rang in her head from the first time she tried to ignore Thomas. She had led the two inside, to D block. The woman explained how things ran and what meals were like. Where to wash clothes and where to go to get your chores, asking if they had any certain skill set. “Muriel can sew; by hand and machine; and she knows how to cooks. Taught her everything a young woman should know.” There was a prideful tone in his voice as he put his hand on her shoulder, showing a sign of affection. There was a time when she use to do whatever he asked as long as it made him happy. Happy Thomas equaled a happy Muriel; as she learned. Leaning into his side, she smiled and gave a nod to confirm. Carol, as she introduced earlier, showed them to their room. Metal bunk beds and a large dresser were all the furniture in the room, “I can bring you to the showers and get you some clean clothes until yours get cleaned.” Seeing the functioning showers, Muriel nearly cried. “The men showers are down that way, Mr. Conner. I can stay with your daughter and keep an eye on her for you.” The reaction was quick as he held onto the girl's wrist, “No offense, but I’m going to have to insist we stay together. New place and all.” While it seemed like he was insinuating his mistrust, the truth was that he never let Muriel out of his sight unless he absolutely had too. There was a skeptical look that crossed Carol’s face before she gave a nod, “I trust you know your way back, but there’s always someone around if you get lost.” She gave Thomas the bundle of clothes before walking away at his nod. The moment they were in the empty showers, he let out a strained sigh, “You start getting to know the older women, the ones in charge. You have them big, trusting eyes; so I’m sure you’ll find out things quicker than me.” He began to strip, and she found herself washing his back. It wasn’t the first time she had seen him naked or scrubbed him down, it was mandatory for her to care for him in a lot of ways. While he provided and protected; she was to groom and be loyal to only him.   
_Like a proper wife._  
He returned the favor and washed her, lingering in some places, “This might be the only privacy we get around here. Let’s say we take advantage of it.” The stubble of his beard tickled her shoulder as he leaned over her from behind. She could feel him pressing up against her before they ‘christened’ the shower room.   
As always, she felt nauseous and sore after, making sure to thoroughly clean up again while he dried and dressed. With a bruise already forming on her hip; she winced as she dressed. The only problem was that the pants fit low on her, being a size too big on her frame, while the shirt fit snugly. Thomas gave a frown, “We’ll need to get our clothes cleaned first thing tomorrow morning.” He said, eyeing the way her body showed too much of her figure. _A lady should be modest._ He used to dress her up in dresses before it became impractical to run in. They made their way out of the showers and Thomas lead the way to their new room. Even though there was a bunk bed, he had her sleep next to him after brushing her hair before laying down. Muriel felt her own shame as she curled in just a bit closer, enjoying how he just held her. She relished in the fact that she didn’t need to keep watch, as their cell door was shut with a sheet in front of it for a small bit of privacy.   
She didn’t remember the nightmare, but they always came and had her lunging forward with a cry. Thomas rolled to the side, a heavy sleeper. Muriel took a deep breath in before crawling over him to try to clear her mind. Even with the pacing from one end of the room to the other, she couldn’t tire herself down enough to be still. With a peak to the snoring man, she made her way to the door. Looking out of the curtain, trying to see anything to keep her mind busy, she looked at the art on the walls. Kids drawings of flowers and animals, sometimes just colorful shapes. She didn’t realize she was touching a drawing until her fingers made contact. Of all things, a crudely drawn church drew her out of the cell.   
_The girl had finally gotten out of the basement, looking around wildly. Which way to go? Where was she? There was a patch of woods behind the building and she took off for them. She couldn’t go home; not after she hurt her dad. ‘Thomas made me; I had no choice.’ The thought rang in her mind as she felt tears pool in her eyes. “Muriel!” As if the thought of the devil brought him forth, she looked back as he called her name. Before the back door of the old church, he stood with thunderous anger that pushed her to run faster._  
“Can’t sleep?” A voice seemed to have woken her from her memories and she turned to find a boy looking at her with suspicion. Taking her hands to her chest, a habit to try to go in on herself just a bit more, she shook her head; “Bad dreams.” To her surprise, she spoke to him. A look of panic crossed her face, “You can’t tell him I spoke to you; I’m not allowed.” Her eyes went to their curtain and she listened to his snores before relaxing a bit. His eyebrows drew together, “Why not?” Her eyes continued to flicker to the room and her fingers tangled themselves together nervously; “I’m not supposed to talk to boys unless they’re little.” To her own ears; it sounded childish. The boy seemed to smile a bit, “I won’t tell him. How old are you anyway?” It was a common question for people who met her. She looked older than she spoke; Thomas said it made her appear innocent and that he liked her innocence. Glancing down, she thought hard on it; “About seventeen now; I think.”   
He looked surprised, “Aren’t you too old to be told what to do by your dad?” Thinking Thomas was her dad was a common assumption too. One she always went along with. _No one needs to know our business._ He had told her when he first killed a small group of survivors who had called him a pedophile and tried to take her away from him. From then on, they had a _private_ relationship. “I’m Muriel, by the way.” She changed the subject with a small smile. If he noticed, he didn’t mention it, “Carl Grimes.”  
She nodded, feeling a wave of fatigue hit her, “Nice to meet you, Carl, but I should be getting back to bed before he wakes up.” The sun was beginning to hit the high windows as he gave her a nod and she snuck back into their room. Sitting at the bottom of the bed to calm her erratic heart, Muriel looked to the sleeping man. While people assumed he was her father, she couldn’t see it. He was average height and build, but his eyes were a dark brown to match his black hair and salt and pepper beard. He was older than her, old enough to be her dad she supposed, but that was it. His nose was long and crooked with a slightly hooked end; his lips thin with a pointed chin. The complete opposite of her baby cheeks with dimples and plump lips. Her hair was blond curls; long and difficult to brush back so she always kept them tied up. Her eyes were a dark blue that turned clear when she cried. When she was younger, he had told her how it was her eyes that called to him. They glowed with a sinful light that he just wanted to hold onto for himself. _I knew you were the love of my life from the moment you looked at me, your eyes begged for me to come and save you from damnation._ She’s hated making eye contact ever since.


	3. Chapter 3

“You look well-rested.” He sighed, taking note that the circles around her eyes had lightened considerably despite the fact that she was up earlier than he was. It was a habit for her to wake before him and prepare his things. This morning, she had prepared for the laundry to be washed. The girl stood with him as he stretched, and he let out a sigh when she automatically began rubbing his shoulders. They were interrupted by a knock, “You guys awake?” Carol’s voice sounded chipper as she waited for someone to answer. Muriel opened the curtain, “Good morning.” She said, earning a nod from the girl. There was a forming thought that the younger girl could have been a mute before pushing it away as her just being shy. “Good morning, Carol. What’s on the agenda for us ‘Newbies’?” Thomas asked with a smile. The woman folded her hands together, “I’ll take you both around to show you where everything is and let you get a feel for the place. We’ll figure out where to place you for the time being.” With a nod, she gestured to the neatly piled dirty clothes, “Let’s take care of that first.” Muriel nodded and picked up the bundle. All of their clothes had been dirty, but she picked a few outfits to start with.   
They were lead through the hallways, walking past people who would give them smiles or waves. It was odd to see a place as scary as a prison be turned into a functioning living space. Carol introduced them to a couple; Cory and Janis; who ran the group of people that helped with laundry. She explained that everyone was split into groups and that the groups rotated jobs, so everything was fair. Thomas and Muriel would likely be in different groups, “Muriel has a certain skill set that’s different than your own, Thomas. Her chores will rotate around mending the laundry and meal preps. You’ll be in a group that handles more with clearing the fence and tending the livestock.” Carol gave him a smile, but Muriel thought it looked more forced than before. Thomas was pretty firm on where her duties should lie and more than once mentioned that she needed the jobs that were _fit for a young lady._ His controlling side seemed to peak out a bit more when he heard that they offered shooting lessons and fighting classes as he instantly refused for Muriel to participate in anything dangerous or masculine.   
“Muriel is fragile, like a flower.” His arm went over her shoulders as he pulled her into his side with a smile, “Just as God intended for her to be.” Over the years, the girl still couldn’t stop the sickly feeling that fell over her when he said things like that. As if it was the phrase that described her best, it was exactly what he thought of her. If her face went pale; Carol didn’t say anything about it as they moved on. “This is Bob, he’ll show you to your group and fill you in on any questions you may have. I’ll take care of Muriel and bring her to her group.” A dark skin man appeared with a friendly smile as he held out his hand to shake it with Thomas’s. Muriel watched them shake hands and exchange pleasantries, watching as Thomas discreetly wiped his hand off before turning to Carol, “One more thing, Carol. It’s a bit old fashioned, but Muriel is prohibited from speaking to or being alone with men. It’s just our religion as Christians and I would like for it to be respected when I’m not with her.” He was firm, daring anyone to say anything against his rule and even dropping his smile to show he meant business. Muriel looked down as Carol gave a silent nod before they separated. The woman waited until Thomas was long gone before speaking, “Your dad seems awfully protective, it must be overwhelming by now.” Muriel glanced at the woman and gave a silent shrug.   
Talking to strangers wasn’t her thing anymore because last time she did that, she meet Thomas.


	4. Chapter 4

“We’re going to introduce you around the laundry room first, help you get a feel of your group. There are a few men in the group, but you will never be left alone with them. You’ll most likely be put to work sowing since not a lot of people have that skill these days.” Carol didn’t push her to respond, seeming to catch onto the girl’s discomfort. As they re-entered the laundry room, Muriel observed how a majority of the group was women and a few older men. They scrubbed in soapy water on their washboards and the men would crank them through a roller dryer, “It’s old fashioned, but honest work.” She was brought through the room and they already had a basket of ripped clothes for her to fix up. She was stationed next to an older woman with graying black hair, “It’s a good thing you’re here. Saving the clothes is a lot easier than sending Scouters out for more.” Her face was crinkled and kind, reminding Muriel of her old babysitter.   
She swallowed hard and gave a half-smile, “Thomas taught me to sow when I was ten and I ripped my favorite dress. I cried for days thinking I had to throw it away before he showed me how to fix it.” Muriel remembered ripping it on a nail in the dark space that the man called the ‘Time Out’ room. A closet that has made her terrified of the darkness and small spaces ever since.  
It wasn’t as difficult to adjust as she thought it might have been since they were all genuinely nice. Muriel was easily the youngest in the group. They said that in the other group was a girl her age, Beth, but they might have been the only teenage girls who worked with the ‘Domestic Groups’. The older lady, Janet, explained that they were one of two groups who did the Domestic jobs; Laundry, cooking, childcare, education, etc.; and that they rotate every week. This week, their group had Laundry and cooking the meals.  
Next week, they got to take care of schooling and children.   
They weren’t denied if they wanted to go to another group, to learn how to shoot a gun or defend themselves or tracking. Carol would bring it up to the instructors in charge of those classes and they made sure people were taught what they needed to know to survive in another group. Janet said the other groups were harder. Scavenging, Hunting, Guard, and Fence Duty. She explained that someone would have to be taught and tested and trusted before switching into those groups. Domestic was the easiest and fullest group since there were a lot of people and a lot of laundry. Carol was the speaker for both of the Domestic groups, she was a part of the Council.   
Muriel already learned so much from the chatty older women that her head was beginning to explode. According to Janet and Linda; the Council was the original founders of the prison. They cleared it out and made it their home before a man called the Governor had wanted to kill them and take it for his own group. Linda use to be a part of his group and she explained that they lived in a small town called Woodbury. The town had running water and ran off partial solar and that they grew most of their food. It was picture perfect, aside from the Walker fights and public executions. The Governor turned out to be sick in the head and killed the army he brought to take the prison, his own people, and then he disappeared. Rick, the original leader of the prison, had found them and brought them back to the prison. Where they all lived in peace and harmony, as Janet put it with a dreamy smile. “It’s a place I could grow old and die in, Muriel. It’s become our home.” Her whimsical voice rippled the girl’s guilty conscious. The women seemed to notice her silence, “Did you have a place you called home, sweety?” Linda asked with a sympathetic frown, touching her shoulder. Being touched and talking to strangers, Muriel felt overtaken.  
“I lost my home long before the world ended.” The girl kept her eyes on her slightly trembling hands as she pushed away the memories of her fathers. Though they were harder to recall over time, she tried to hold onto them. There was no more storytelling or questions, just silence as she worked. Her mind still absorbed in the task at hand and the two men that raised her.


	5. Chapter 5

“Come on, kid. We got lunch through dinner to prepare now that most of the community is waking up.” Carol appeared next to her as everyone began to stand up and head out. Carol and Linda seemed to get everyone sorted on what to do while Muriel waited on a job. It was still pretty early, as the domestic group doing laundry has to be up at dawn to work for an hour and then begin breakfast. There was an assortment of oatmeal, eggs, rabbit and squirrel, and a load of nuts and snap peas. It was mostly fresh food, the girl noticed, “Do you only grow snap peas and raise chicken?” She asked Carol as she was instructed to stir the oatmeal. The pot was on a low out-door burner and reached to her elbows as she used a long wooden spoon to stir it in with the water. “We can’t grow much else at the moment with the way the dirt is. Hershel, our farmer, says we need to till and nurture the soil for a few more months.” Carol answered as she chopped the meat into even cubes. It was hard to have enough meat for everyone, so Carol would prepare the small bits to be smoked and saved for winter. They only ate any meat if it was enough for everyone so that no one was left out, as Carol explained more. Muriel nodded, looking back to the oatmeal, “We never really had the time to try to hunt. It was always canned food, even dog food once.” The girl missed the tension in Carol as she tried to think of ways to sneak some preserved foods into their room. Dry oatmeal and nuts would bring them pretty far, but Thomas would love some of the meat for when they left.   
“Do you know if you would be interested in doing any of the offered classes? We also provide first aid training courses.” Carol nudged her elbow to get the girl’s attention. Muriel shrugged, “If Thomas says it’s okay, then I’ll let you know.” The woman stilled once more, glancing at the girl, “Do you think you could do Teen Time later today? It’s just where all of the older kids hang out for a bit, with supervision.” Muriel frowned a bit. She had a feeling that Carol was trying to get her more involved and she wasn’t sure if she was ready or not. Looking around, she saw Thomas at the very end of the yard, talking with a man in front of pigs. Thomas once said he grew up on a pig farm with his grandparents, so they must have had a job for him already lined up. Carol caught her line of gaze, “That’s Rick speaking with Thomas. If he’s going to be working with the pigs full time, Rick will want to get to know him and get a feel for him before it’s final. Might be with him for the rest of the day.” The woman caught her small nod before things got quiet again. The girl fidgeted the spoon, “When’s Teen Time?” She whispered, almost as if saying something she shouldn’t. In all honesty, Muriel was supposed to ask Thomas before doing those kinds of things. He was supposed to give her permission. Yet, since speaking with the boy last night, she kind of wanted to do something that Thomas didn’t know of. Something akin to a secret. If Carol gave her a small grin while telling her that she’d bring the girl by the rec-room later, Muriel tried not to notice. The woman was observant for as much as she tried to play off being innocent around Thomas. For a moment, she feared that Carol noticed something off. That the woman noticed something more than an overprotective father and shy daughter. With the way Thomas acted, it wouldn’t be a surprise. Muriel pushed the thought away as people began to arrive to have breakfast. “No need to rush with anything, just take your time so that nothing gets spilled.”  
Carol advised as people began to gather with bowls and plates of all types. It was the orphaned children first. A woman leads them through while they held their bowls out for mainly oatmeal or eggs. They both contained the protein for a healthy breakfast. Muriel tried not to think about where their parents were or how they lost them as they walked through. The smaller ones smiled as they chatted with each other, excited for storytime. Carol was the consistent storytime teller, as the girl overheard from the chatty kids. There were about half a dozen of the orphaned kids before the families filed through next. Men and women with their children. Sometimes single parents, sometimes just an aunt and their nephew. “You must be new! I’m Lizzy.” A little blond bubble of happy stepped in front of her with a wide smile, an older blond next to her, “I’m Mika.” Muriel gave a smile, the happy energy infectious, “I’m Muriel and, yeah, we just arrived yesterday.” Just as Lizzy looked like she was going to say more, their father interrupted, “Girls, there’s a line. You can corner her later.” He joked as he pushed them along.   
Muriel gave him a polite smile before continuing to fill up bowls or cups. The elderly came through next. She wondered how they survived so long as some of them needed assistance to even walk. How could they run? Or hide or fight? “They’re mostly from Woodbury,” Linda said as she noticed the girl’s confused look. It was about less than a dozen elderly before the workers came through. Men and women and teenagers. A young blond teen came through as the line died down, holding a baby. For a moment, Muriel thought nothing of it. As the girl began chatting a bit with Carol though, she took notice of the change in Carol’s demeanor. The woman was more relaxed, and her smile seemed more genuine, “Beth, you’re running late. I saved you a plate though.” The blonde gave a grateful smile as she shifted the baby on her hip to take the offered food.  
“Judith was fussy about getting dressed today. I think she’s getting more teeth.” Her voice and face all looked so familiar, “Beth Green?” A memory of her little blond friend came to mind as her mouth spoke with her brain. The girl looked at her and there was no mistake about it. She hadn’t changed much over the years. Her straight blond hair and large blue eyes were as she remembered. Her face had lost its baby fat and she had obviously matured since third grade, but it was still little Bethy. There was a silent moment as Beth looked confused until her eyes caught sight of the girl's wild blond curls locked in a hair net and hair tie, “Muriel Woods?” 


	6. Chapter 6

Her throat felt dry and she regretted saying anything because now there would be questions that she couldn’t answer. Muriel began to panic as her heart felt like it was going to beat out of her chest. If Beth was here, then she would tell everyone about what happened. Muriel going missing and her dad and babysitter ending up dead and that Thomas was definitely not her dad because Beth knew both of her dads. They had sleepovers all the time and Beth knew her dads. They went to church every Sunday and she definitely knew Thomas because he was the Pastors brother and he owned the church. Thomas ran social events and lived in the church, everyone in their little town knew him. But, no one knew him at all or that he was the one that took her. A hand on her upper arms brought her from her panicked stupor, “Are you okay, Muriel?” Unlike what she had been wishing for, Beth and Carol and the baby were still there in front of her. Looking at her. “I- uh, I just need a break.” Her feet moved her from the situation as fast as she could, nearly sprinting into the prison. Her heart felt painful as she ran down the halls, just wanting a small bit of privacy to think of a solution before Beth found out that Thomas was posing as her father, which she knew he was not.   
She didn’t know where she was when she stopped, just that it was quiet. She made her way through a door and down a small set of stairs to just sit against the wall, sinking like a boat next to a pool of stained blood. She put her head between her knees and her hands on her head, breathing loudly through her nose and out her mouth. How was she going to fix this without Beth sounding alarms?  
The idea of Thomas losing it if Beth calls him out and puts together that he was the one to kidnap Muriel when she was a child made tears press to her eyes, leaking ever so slightly as she tried to think. Think.  
 _Think._  
“Thomas found me when this all started. I was abandoned by my kidnappers, who I am too traumatized to name or recall, and he helped me ever since.” Muriel said aloud to herself. For a moment, she felt the truth bubbling under her skin, begging for her to just say it. To stop lying and do what was best for her. But, she held back. Biting her lip to the point of drawing blood, she focused on the physical pain to stave off the mental pain. She began breathing again, filling the holes in her lie to battle any questions that might arise. It was a story they used with the last group, but that was months ago, and Thomas was the one to do all the talking. Muriel hated lying.   
So engrossed with her planning, she didn’t notice the door opening until a voice shook her, “What are you doing here?” It sounded harsh for some reason and Muriel looked up at a blue-eyed glare. She frowned, “I just needed some space and got lost.” Even though it was true, it felt like a lie. She was running away from her problems. Just for a moment though, as she stood and leaned against the wall to try to regain her strength and some courage. “This room is off-limits. There’s a sign on the door.” He didn’t seem to budge on his glare until she looked directly at him. The dirty tear stains on her cheeks and glassy blue eyes that seemed duller than when they met, “Come on, I’ll walk you back.” Carl’s glare softened as he sighed.  
For a moment, Muriel could have sworn that boy was staring at the stain on the floor next to her, “Someone you knew?” She asked gently as she looked at it too. Sometimes, she wondered if people carried those types of stains on their souls. How drenched or clean were people's souls? How stained was her own?  
“My mother. When she gave birth to my little sister right there, I had to put her down after it. To stop her from turning.” His voice wavered when she knelt next to it, running her fingers along the edges before bringing her cross necklace to her lips and gently kissing it, “I’ll say a prayer for her and your family. It sounds like you all endured a lot of pain.” Her eyes watered again, feeling emotionally raw from her own memories and the intimate memory the boy shared. She heard talking to strangers could be therapeutic because the boy seemed closed off, as she had caught glances of him through the day. He always stood away from others, sticking close to Rick or simply on his own. Muriel wondered who his sister was or if he lost her too. She questioned if she was being appropriate or not since she hadn’t been social with her age group in a long time. As she followed him down the halls in silence, she wondered if she said something wrong. The silence was unsettling. Fidgeting with her fingers once more, “I’m sorry if I upset you earlier. I didn’t mean to intrude on such an important place.” Her voice was a whisper, but the boy pausing indicated that he heard her clearly in the quiet halls. His hair covered his face as he looked down, “It’s not your fault for not knowing. It’s not something we talk about.” She could hear him swallow thickly, “Why were you looking for some space anyways?” With a question to draw the attention off himself, he looked at her. His stare was intense, and her heart jumped, “I just, um, Beth.” She blinked, attempting to calm whatever that look had done to her. “Beth Green and I use to be friends in elementary school. Seeing her was a shock.”  
Which wasn’t a lie and she felt good knowing that she wasn’t lying to Carl. The younger boy had opened up to her about what happened to his mother when he could have just lied or ignored her. Muriel was used to being lied to or ignored and she never liked how it made her feel. She knew she would have to lie today and then tell Thomas all about the story she made up, hoping he would go along with it.   
Carl gave a nod, “She’s practically family to us.”   
When they began to walk again, a lonely feeling crept through Muriel. _Us._ She knew he didn’t mean the community, but the entire original group. While she tried not to think about it, she knew that there was the original group and then the community. They were like an exclusive club that no one could penetrate. Even though she was there, walking next to the boy or working alongside everyone, it was as if there was a wall. They were bonded over time and loss. While Muriel was only bonded with Thomas over pain and love. Because the pain came first before she came to endure him, then love him in the sense that she would be lost without him.   
_Who was she without Thomas?_


	7. Chapter 7

Before dwelling on it more, they arrived at the rec-room, where Carol stood with Beth and the baby. Carl broke into a grin as he grabbed the baby, “Hey, Judith.” His voice cooing and his gaze soft. This must have been his sister, Muriel put together with a small smile. Beth caught her attention, “Muriel, can we talk?” Already, the girl could see her old friend’s blue eyes alight with all of the questions. She was always so curious. Looking to Carol and Carl, then to the glass door of the room, “After Teen Time. It’s all kind of too much at once and I really just need things to slow down.” Muriel quietly said as she fidgeted with her fingers once more, watching her feet shuffle rather than seeing Carol nod to Beth. Missing their secrete communication as the older woman bid them goodbye for the moment.  
Looking confused when entering the room, Muriel turned to Beth and Carl, “I thought there was adult supervision?” As the room held about six or seven teens, most of them boys, she saw no adult. Beth quirked her eyebrow, “We’re all practically adults. This is basically just downtime from work since it’s the room with the most teenage games and teen books.” She explained before grabbing her wrist and pulling her to a set of comfy chairs near the corner and away from everyone else. It was like they were back in third grade again, except with the roles reversed. Beth was the confident one while Muriel wished she could hide away from everything. Carl trailed along, looking curious at the change in Beth. The girl sat down her old friend before sitting across from her, “So, what happened?”   
There was an impatience in her tone like she wasn’t going to put up with any distractions that Muriel threw her way. She wasn’t going to wait because they both knew that the other teens already had their own cliques. Just like in school, they were always the odd ones out. Beth because she grew up on a farm and had that accent; Muriel because of her gay fathers. They were invisible. At her silence and looking to Carl, Beth pursed her lips, “Honestly, he’ll hear about it through his dad or someone on the council. I kind of told Carol a bit about when you… you know, went missing.”   
Muriel noticed she seemed to deflate in her confidence as Beth looked a little unsure near the end of her statement. Maybe it was because of the doubt that Beth displayed, but Muriel felt guilty. “I don’t remember it too well; the faces and words are blurred… after my dad and Mr. Lin were killed.” _Lie lie lie._ “I barely remember the world ending before being ditched on the side of the road.” She frowned, remembering that it wasn’t supposed to sound like some story. It was supposed to sound like the truth. So she took a deep breath and smiled, “That’s when Thomas found me.” A few tears gathered from the bitter lie that fell off her tongue, “He saved me.” _He took her and tore her apart till she loved him._ “We’ve been together, surviving, ever since.” _He killed anyone who got in his way._ “Even though there’s no physical reason that I don’t remember what happened before; being taken or by whom; it’s like my mind has it locked away somewhere.” _Deep in a dark place of her mind is that closet full of those memories. The bad ones; because she wanted to hold tight to the good things. The way Thomas smiled when he got her a new dress **because he tore the last one to shreds** or the way he pat her head when she fixed his shirts **because he didn’t have the patience to unbutton it.**_ _Even though they were small, they happened for a reason and was his way of showing his forgiveness and love._ **_And Muriel was young and didn’t want him to lock her away again._**   
When she finished with her story, the spider's webs clogging her throat like cotton, “I don’t think I ever want to remember it.” Which was the only truth so far. She wished it were true. That the memories were gone or blocked completely, that Thomas was her savior and not her captor. But, it was just a story and she had to convince everyone. The tear that dripped from her chin seemed to really sell it as Beth pulled her into a giant hug. Muriel felt a piece of her heartbreak because Beth seemed to buy her story. The girl hugged her tightly, “I’m so sorry about everything, Muriel.” This time, Muriel’s tears were for herself. To the fact that she knew she was massively messed up in her head to love Thomas enough to protect him. To ensure his safety over her own, knowing he could still be so unpredictable. She hoped he remembered the story, that it would be consistent if anyone questioned him before she could tell him what lies to go with. Carl leaned against the chair quietly, almost awkward as the two girls hugged.   
It was too emotional for him. Hearing that Muriel had such a rough history made him sympathetic and he looked around to see if anyone was staring. Only one boy, Zach, seemed to look over every few minutes. Carl gave a slight glare as if telling him to mind his business without using words.   
Muriel pulled away, feeling overwhelmed with the hugging and tears and _lying._ Beth mimicked her, wiping her eyes with her sleeve, “I’m glad you’re here, Muriel. Safe and alive.” Her voice was a pitch higher as she sniffled. Muriel quirked a smile, “You’re still such a crybaby, Bethy.” It was as if she had put in a piece of the puzzle because both girls felt that connection. They had sworn to be friends for life, even writing goofy things in each other’s books and diaries. They shared a smile and for the first time in a while, Muriel didn’t think about Thomas. Beth pulled her from her shell a bit with light talk about everything she missed. Who moved from town or the embarrassing things that some people did. Carl joined in with his own stories about kids from school, making their circle seem more normal.   
The question that nagged at her mind finally came out as things were winding down and it was almost time to leave, “What happened to my Daddy?” Her voice broke near the end, fearing the worst. Her daddy had been a soft man, so full of love for their little family. Beth furrowed her brow, “Aaron moved after two years. He said he couldn’t stay in a town with constant reminders of what he’d lost. I think he moved somewhere south.” The sympathetic tone did nothing to ease Muriel’s broken heart. The unknown was a scary thing for her, and she had been living with so many questions for so long. Unanswered questions that kept her awake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you will note, my story is Incomplete. Most of them will be.


End file.
